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Don’t Hit Me! I’m Eating Biscuits & Gravy Bumper Sticker

Driving requires focus. Unfortunately, so does eating biscuits and gravy directly off your dashboard like a feral interstate breakfast goblin. This bumper sticker politely warns surrounding motorists that you are currently performing an important gravy-based operation and cannot be expected to behave normally.

Featuring Don’t Hit Me! I’m Eating Biscuits & Gravy Off My Dash alongside a glorious biscuits-and-gravy image, this design is available as a weatherproof vinyl sticker or removable magnet. It’s breakfast. It’s defensive driving. It’s probably a DOT violation.

Funny Bumper Sticker for Gravy-Based Emergencies

Some people put tasteful decals on their cars. Cowards.

This funny sticker is for anyone who understands that a vehicle isn’t just transportation. It’s a dining room, storage unit, emotional-support chamber, and occasionally a place to eat an alarming amount of sausage gravy while doing 67 mph.

Rectangular designs are approximately 8.5 x 2.5 inches and handmade, so sizing may vary slightly. Mockups are not to scale.

Better yet: Buy 2, Get 1 Free. Add three eligible stickers or magnets to your cart and the lowest-priced one is automatically freeno code needed.

Weatherproof Sticker Built for Highway Nonsense

Your breakfast may be structurally compromised, but your bumper sticker shouldn’t be.

Made from premium all-weather vinyl, this weatherproof sticker is waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-resistant, and car-wash safe when properly applied. Frog Mustard’s outdoor-rated vinyl is built for cars, coolers, laptops, and other smooth surfaces.

For best results, clean the surface with water, dry it completely, and apply to a smooth, glossy, non-textured surface. Press from the center outward to reduce bubbles. Weird plastics, textured surfaces, wax, dirt, and other adhesion goblins can reduce longevity.

Car Magnet for the Commitment-Averse

Want the chaos without permanent commitment? Choose the car magnet version.

Standard magnets are 20 mil thick, while extra-thick 30 mil magnets are available and recommended for colder climates or aggressive winds. Test your vehicle first: magnets stick to magnetic metal, not plastic, and many modern bumpers are plastic. Doors, trunks, and side panels may be better options.

Remove magnets before car washes or extreme weather for maximum longevity.

Your Dashboard Diner Deserves This

Every Frog Mustard bumper sticker is original, handmade, and created for humor and novelty. Orders ship from Washington in 13 business days, with worldwide shipping available.

Stick it on your car. Slap the magnet on your trunk. Go find a questionable diner.

Just keep both hands on the wheel until the gravy situation is under control.

Not sure where to start? Our bestselling stickers are the ones people cant stop buying or arguing about in traffic.

Want to make sure your sticker actually sticks and lasts? Check out our full sticker guide for placement, surfaces, and longevity.

For new drops, chaotic ideas, and stickers in the wild, follow us on Instagramwe post the good stuff there first.